Well, it's that time of year. The snow falls in the high country and here come the flatlanders, or Phoenix people, as I affectionately like to call them. We happen to live off of a busy highway that leads to the Snowbowl Ski Area. Every morning they drive by in a caffeinated frenzy to be the first up the mountain. Every evening they follow each other back to town while trying to get gas, choose a place to eat, and find their way back to the I-17.
I have been busy observing and I have a list of requests for you, the Phoenix people....
1. Please drive your Hummer with at least one hand on the huge wheel. In other words, put your Venti double mocha latte in one of the numerous cup holders available to you. Both hands DO NOT need to be wrapped around a hot beverage to insure your survival in a snowy climate. Thats what your car heater is for.
2. Please do not berate the student clerk at Target when she confirms that they are indeed out of plastic sleds. Purchase one for 30 bucks at the Shell station like everybody else from the Valley.
3. Re: #2, please don't discard said sled along 180 after you are done sledding.
4. If you see a great photo opportunity, please pull over safely. It's not a good idea to try to photograph the Peaks while driving your giant SUV.
5. Please enjoy our beautiful, state of the art hospital when you sprain, strain, or break something, which is likely to happen. Please be careful!
6. Please don't buy up all of the hot chocolate in our grocery stores. They sell it down there, too. You can buy it there and bring it up WITH you.
7. Please remove your cool lift ticket from your jacket before dining at Chili's.
I realize this is very sarcastic and a little mean. I can dish it out, but to show I can take it, I'm now going to tell you what I won't do when I'm in Phoenix....
1.I promise to drive AT LEAST 80mph in the fast lane on the 101. I will not fear photo radar!
2. I will not bang on the door of In-n-Out at 10:30am, pleading for a double-double.
3. I promise not to hold up the line at Trader Joe's by asking the clerk, for the hundredth time, when they are going to get a store in Flagstaff.
4. Re: #3, I'll try not to tell everyone who will listen that I have to "stock up" because we don't have a TJ's.
5. I promise not to drive with my windows down and sunroof open in the middle of January when it's 55 degrees, just because, to me, it's NICE! In addition, I'll try not to laugh at you wearing Ugg boots and a parka's.
6. This will be hard, but I will try to "clean up" a bit before entering Scottsdale Fashion Square. I'll try to shower and do my make-up and make sure my highlights are current. Oh, and I'll run my filthy Subaru through a carwash before parking at Nordstrom.
7. I will try not to whine when I'm told the wait at Claim Jumper is 1 1/2 hrs. We don't have one of those either!
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1 comment:
Way to funny!!! Haha! I totally agree with you. I was in Target when they were asking for sleds and I wanted to direct them to the gas station you mentioned. Oh, and when I left your house the other evening I was flabbergasted at the long, I mean very long line of cars from snowbowl. Oh and I promise to do #1, and #2. Oh you definitely lived in CA...the 101, the I-17. I forget we learned that when we lived over there.
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